Hot Dogs and Soda Pop
by Schyzotypal X
Summary: "When did Hermione get so NOT unattractive?" Draco never imagined he would be spending his summer following around an impoverished smart chick.-DracoHermione-oneshots-
1. Chapter 1: The Pool

So summer is upon us and if full swing. To celebrate it's long, lazy days I decided to chronicle the awkward sexual advances made by a one Draco Malfoy upon a one Hermione Granger.

These are there stories.

* * *

**Hot Dogs and Soda Pop**

**Encounter One**

**The Pool **

Their first meeting during the summer is at the pool.

She is wearing what looks to be an extra-extra-large flannel t-shirt over whatever military issue type of swimsuit it is that the impoverished are given by the government, and he is wearing trunks that fit him perfectly last summer, but thanks to a series of growth spurts over the school year have become something most other men would describe as a testicular tourniquet. Draco, however, still holds the stubborn streak that has been instilled in him from years of conditioning as a Malfoy and he refuses to believe that his _favorite pair of shorts ever_ has finally grown too small for him. They are black with a silver dragon on them and Draco has believed them to be the epitome of cool since the time he had gotten them when he was 12 till now.

They're meeting is inevitable. They are those two people who are just a little bit too off to fit in with the rest of the public swimming pool going crowd. The girl in the gray sack and the boy in the shorts that are so tight they're inhibiting the blood flow to his legs.

Hermione's not allowed to swim because her shirt thing is most decidedly not in the pools dress code and Draco because his trunks make it hard for him to walk, much less swim.

They both respond to this in different ways. Hermione decides to spend her time studying and goes to find a secluded nook to enjoy one of the extensive textbooks she brought along in her towel bag. Draco huffs and decides that swimming is just a stupid and uncool activity for those of lower breeding. He stalks off to find a dark corner to brood, pointedly ignoring the cat calls he's getting for his shorts.

Unfortunately for both of them, the pool has a very short supply of dark secluded corners, so they end up in the same one.

Hermione frowns as something tall and gangly casts a long shadow over the print of her book. She looks up, intent on scolding whomever dares to interrupt her studying, and freezes when she realizes who it is.

"Oh." She says acidly, her book snapping shut. "It's _you._"

"I could say the same Granger. This meeting is no less unpleasant for me as it is for you. I didn't know that someone of your kind could afford to pay the fee to get into this pool."

Hermione scowls. "We can't _all_ be spoiled rotten prats Malfoy…what is _that_ thing that your wearing."

Draco looks down at his shorts and scowls, he silently vows to burn them as soon as he gets home.

"And what about you Granger? What is that sack you're wearing?" Draco points out snidely.

Hermione looks down at her own wear and raises an eyebrow. "This? This is because I burn easily and I don't want to spend the next two days inside because I wasn't careful at the pool."

"So you're not even going to swim at all?" Draco raises an eyebrow.

"No." Hermione says, reclining back into her chair. "I was just waiting for the sun to get lower. Anyway, what about you Malfoy? I don't see you hopping around in the water over there?"

Draco huffs prettily, tossing his hair out of his eyes. "I decided I don't want to intermingle with those lower class beings, chlorine can only kill so many of the diseases that they pass around among themselves you know. " Draco glances down at Hermione, who's staring at him with a look of disgust. "You wouldn't know would you? You've probably developed an immunity to most of them by know."

Hermione nods slowly. "Sure Malfoy, whatever." She turns back to her book.

Draco watches her for a moment longer before coughing and clearing his throat. "You know, I have my own pool back at home."

Hermione hums slightly in response.

"It's indoors."

Hermione says nothing and Draco rubs the back of his neck. "So there's no sun." Still no response.

The next words that come out of Draco's mouth shock both him and Hermione.

"You could come over if you wanted. Since then you could swim then."

Hermione's book snaps shut and she looks up at him. Her eyes are narrowed and she scrutinizes him in the same way she would look at a dissected frog in biology class. "Malfoy." She says slowly, after a long moment.

"Yes!" Draco says too fast and too loud to sound natural.

"Did you just invite me over to your house?"

"Yeah, but…well," Draco fumbles. "It's just charity and all, because you can't swim here and my pool isn't getting very much use at all. I figure I could be like that guy in that movie with the red head, Angie or whatever…"

He trails of lamely and Hermione regards him carefully.

"Thanks," She says slowly, after a long moment. "But I think I'll take my chances with the sun."

Draco looks up, a witty and sharp retort at the ready.

Hermione pulls of the flannel t-shirt, tossing it back onto her chair with her towel bag.

Draco chokes on his own tongue.

The scanty piece of fabric that she is wearing is not a standard military issue swimsuit. It is in fact anything but.

It is pure white, and small, and _tight_ and when did Hermione get so _not _unattractive?

She breezes past him and starts walking towards the pool. Draco watches her go, still gagging on his tongue.

His shorts are most definitely too small.

_

* * *

_

So I've finally pulled up my workin' pants and gotten down to using the oodles of free time my summer provides to get rid of a few rampant plot bunnies that have been om nom nomming away at my brain for awhile now.

Thoughts and opinions? Criticism is welcome.

-Schyzotypal X


	2. Chapter 2: A Neighbors Barbecue

Second chapter yay! This one I edited as quickly as possible so I'm sorry for any mistakes with the spelling and grammar of this chapter.

* * *

**Hot Dogs and Soda Pop**

**Encounter 2**

**A Neighbors Barbecue **

The next time they meet it is at one of those neighborhood barbecues that Draco detests.

His mother has been obsessing over fraternizing with the locals. A new start and all that, after their fathers inevitable fall from grace.

Draco grumbles about it and his mother resorts to dragging him outside by the ear.

He sits at one of the further back picnic tables and nurses his right lobe, reflecting on the fact that his mother had never been this forward before his father had been forcibly dragged out of the house by the Dementors. That of course had probably had something to do with the fact that Draco's father viewed women in much the same way as he viewed Doby.

Someone to work and serve him, but not to actually think. Thinking was a mans work after all.

Draco scowls, nursing a Diet Pepsi and scratching at his t-shirt. It's one of the new ones that his mother had bought on one of her "new start, new style" shopping trips.

God, if Draco had known poor people clothes were this comfortable he would have started wearing them long before the paradigm shift in his life.

The sound of approaching foot steps is muffled by the badly manicured lawn but Draco hears it nonetheless. He sets his face in a decidedly annoyed expression that is most definitely NOT a pout and turns to glare at whoever dares to disturb him.

His eyes widen and he splutters into his Pepsi can.

It's that Granger girl again. Except this time instead of a tiny white swimsuit she's wearing a tiny white sundress. Draco, curls in on himself, scowling as pronouncedly as he can through a mouthful of Pepsi that his throat refuses to swallow.

Hermione raises an eyebrow at him and swishes her skirt. There's something about that color that suits her.

She's drinking a coke classic.

It takes three minutes of practiced swallowing before Draco manages to down his mouthful of stale Pepsi and by then Hermione has already begun to look around for someone more interesting to talk to. She raises herself up on tip toe and swishes her skirt around knees that Draco remembers to had been a lot more knobby last summer.

Back in the eighteenth century, a women showing off her knees would probably be thought of as pornographic.

Draco pushes that thought to the back of his mind and glares at her. She glances at him, her eyes flickering up and down his newly clothed figure.

"I see you finally decided to wear normal clothes rather than those pratty outfits you usually wear."

Draco nods. He opens his mouth to say something along the lines of "you're pretty" but instead it comes out as. "Congratulations. That dress doesn't make you look like a complete cow Granger."

It takes Draco at least a week to get all of the coke out of his hair, and even longer to get rid of the taste of blood in his mouth.


	3. Chapter 3: A Potluck

**Hot Dogs and Soda Pop**

**Encounter 3 **

**A Pot-luck (whatever that is) **

The next public gathering they cross paths during is one of his mother's own creation.

Without her husband to turn his nose up at the idea of lower class friends, Narcissa Malfoy has decided to open her doors to the not-as-financially-advanced of their neighborhood in some sort of primitive, cave-people sort of gather called a pot-luck.

She doesn't actually know how to cook anything but Doby let's her hold the bowl while he makes potato salad. She squeals in delight when Doby promotes her to honorary spoon holder.

Draco spends the entire cooking process sitting in the corner of the kitchen looking petulant and annoyed.

When the guests start to arrive, he finds an isolated corner where he can brood in solitude, because Draco Malfoy does NOT hide behind potted shrubs to avoid talking to people.

The finds him there about halfway through the brunt of the event.

"Hiding in your little emo corner Malfoy?"

Draco keeps his eyes focused on her shins. They are clad in denim jeans that are actually well-worn because of repeated use rather than purposeful tearing in a factory. Draco grimaces.

_Poor people._

He silently thanks the gods that she's wearing her normal, casual clothes. Though he does find the Granger in tight and revealing clothes to be an interesting one, he much prefers the Granger in baggy sack clothing who he can insult properly instead of swallowing his own uvula whenever he sees her.

Draco looks up and blinks several times.

Hermione is wearing a plain, white camisole. A very _tight_,plain white camisole. One that feels the need to cling to every curve and dip of her body as if it was a second skin.

Draco swallows, feeling his throat constrict and sweat begin prickle coolly on his palms.

Hermione raises an eyebrow at Draco, stepping forward and leaning down to get a better look at him. "What the matter Malfoy? No snaky remarks or evil glares? That's not like you?"

Draco feels cold sweat trickle down the back of his neck. Oh god, from this angle he can almost see her br-

"Oi, Mione!"

Hermione straightens and looks towards the source of the voice. Draco does to, turning to see a mop of messy red hair and an eager looking freckled face.

Dracos lip curls. _Weasley._

Ron stops just short of them, nodding curtly at Draco before turning towards Hermione excitedly. "You've got to come see what Fred and George are doing to Crab and Goyle! It's hilarious!"

Hermione laughs and smiles at him. "Sure Ron, lets go."

Ron smiles even brighter and grabs her hand. Draco snarls. Neither notice as they head off towards the Malfoy's game room, but just as they're about to go out of earshot, Hermione turns. "See you around Draco."

Draco splutters. Draco, she had called him _Draco._

What he means to say next is: "See you too Hermione" but somewhere between his brain and his mouth it changes to: "I certainly hope not Granger."

He can't hear what she says to him over her shoulder but he can certainly see the uncouth gesture she waves in his direction.

Draco groans. This entire "saying one thing and meaning another" thing isn't working very well for him at all.

* * *

Oh god, this story is growing into something I can't control anymore. I had hoped for a few interrelated Dremione drabbles but now it's developing substance and PLOT. I suck at plot but for this, I'll persevere. Hope you guys enjoyed.

Reviews are much appreciated.

-Schyzotypal X


	4. Chapter 4: The Street

**Hot Dogs and Soda Pop**

**Encounter 4**

**The Street**

Draco takes to watching Hermione.

It's totally not in a stalker-y way of course, Draco would never stoop so low. He prefers to think of himself as a secretive gentleman in the pursuit of knowledge.

It's not like he meant to memorize the days she went grocery shopping (Monday and sometimes Wednesday) because her parents were busy with work, he had just been in the area at the time (mainly because she was there). He hadn't even really tried to synchronize the times where she walked down the street so that they crossed paths (it wasn't really trying because it had taken virtually no effort at all, just a stop watch and few figures on his calculator). He doesn't even really attempt to memorize the time she goes to the library (7:00 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays) so he can also be there at the same time (Draco has never read so many poor people books in his life).

With this in mind, it comes as a total surprise when one day she whirls after once again seeing him walk past her. "Okay Malfoy, what's going on?"

Draco blinks, the picture of naivety. "I have no idea what you're talking about Granger."

Hermione crosses her arms over her chest. "Look, I _know_ you've been following me. I see you everywhere now, at the store, whenever I'm outside you just happen to be walking around at the same time, and every time I go to the library you're there too. You don't even _like_ books!"

Draco examines his nails, wondering if he should buff them again or if that was a habit that could be filed under extremely emasculating. "Look, Granger, maybe I've always been there before and you've just never noticed." He looks up, smirking. "Getting a crush on me Granger?"

She regards him for a second, nose wrinkling in a way that Draco can only describe as endearing. Finally, she gives a little shake of her head. "No, I'm pretty sure that you're just stalking me." She sneers. "That's really creepy Draco.

Draco splutters. "I-I am not!"

"The only question now is _why_ you're stalking me." Her face becomes pensive and she looks at Draco, frowning. "Why exactly are you stalking me Malfoy? Planning some sort of convoluted prank or something." She leans back a bit, sighing. Draco very determinedly does not wince at the sound because it DOES NOT make his heart tremble like a newborn butterfly in a breeze "Only you would go this far for some joke."

Draco's mind races with a thousand witty remarks and snappy comebacks. When he opens his mouth to say them, however, what comes out instead is. "You're hair looks really pretty today."

Hermione raises an eyebrow. "What?"

Draco wonders if he has some sort of horrible condition that's effecting his nervous system because it seems that somewhere along the road the synapses in his brain are changing the messages that his mind is sending to his mouth. He tries again, determined to give the girl before him the severest tongue lashing in the history of Malfoy tongue lashings.

"It's all soft and shiny and I'd _really _like to touch it."

Hermione takes a step back. "Malfoy. Are you alright? You're acting really, _really_ weird."

Draco decides to pick his battles wisely and retreat. He makes to run back to his home, only a few short blocks from where they are standing, thankfully.

INSTEAD of doing that he pushes forward, wrapping one hand around Hermione's arm and tugging her towards him.

Oh damn, it seems that whatever feisty parasite that has infected the communications center of his brain has taken control of his muscle movements as well.

"Hey! Malfoy hands off! What are doin-"

Draco manages to cleverly cut her off by slobbering all over her face. A genius move if he does say so himself.

Hermion's fist meets his face with unheard of force and he goes whirling away from her, landing on the ground in a heap.

In retrospect, this might have been a bad decision, Draco thinks, trying to push the gravel out of his mouth with his tongue. He looks back up at Hermione, dazed. She wiping her face off on her sleeve, mainly her nose, which is covered in saliva. Draco notices that her lips are still painfully dry.

He groans. He Frenched her nose, smooth.

Draco pick himself up slowly, checking for any broken bones or laceration. _Tibula, fibula, phalanges, check. _His eye hurts _a lot _and he has no doubts that it will bruise terribly. The left side of his face prickles and stings. Draco puts his hand to the area, feeling something warm and wet, when he pulls back, his fingers are speckled with red.

Draco can't help it. He's an artist, not a fighter.

He blacks out, because Draco Malfoy does not faint.

* * *

School sucks. I'm sorry it took so long to post this. Hope it was good.

-Schyzotypal X

P.S. Did you miss me?


	5. Chapter 5: At A Friends House

**Hot Dogs and Soda Pop**

**Encounter 5/4.5**

**At A "Friends" House**

When Draco comes to he's lying on a couch that is considerably smaller and less expensive than any of the sofas in the Malfoy household. He sits up, reaching for his cheek. His fingers brush against cotton gauze and plastic medical tape. Draco frowns. His mother has the same tendency to _pass out_ when confronted with the sight of blood and the bandage on his face is nowhere near as professional as Doby's.

Draco looks around, his good eye widening. He isn't in the Malfoy manor, that's for sure. The entire room is only about as big as Doby's sleeping quarters. It's got the basic set up of living room, a sofa and coffee table and all that, it's just so much _smaller _than what Draco is used to.

He moves to stand, theories of kidnap and ransom filling his head.

"So you're awake."

Draco turns.

Oh, it's Granger.

Draco would have much preferred a kidnapping to this.

She breezes in. "You fainted and I had to bring you here, god knows I wasn't going to make the walk to your mansion."

Draco scowls, stopping when he feels the skin on his cheek give another painful twinge. "I did _not faint_, I blacked out, it's different."

Hermione nods patronizingly. "Really, I had no idea."

"Yep."

Draco sits in silence, regarding the house around him, as Hermione rummages around in the attached kitchen. The place is small, but at least it's clean.

"So this is where you live Granger?"

Hermione's head peaks out from behind the door. "Yeah? What did you expect? A mansion like yours?"

Draco shakes his head. "No, no, just…I expected there to be a lot more squalor. You know, rats running around, animal feces in the corner, that sort of thing."

Hermione frowns at him. "There's something really fucked up about the way you think Malfoy."

Draco bites his lip. Oh no! They've regressed. He's Malfoy again. And just when he was about to work up the courage to start calling her by her first name.

Hermione appears again, something dripping and red in her hand. "Here." She proffers it to Draco and he leans forward, his nose wrinkling as he realizes it's a raw steak.

"Oh you poor thing, you can't even afford cooked food."

The steak smacks him in the face with a wet 'plop', when it slides of, leaving a juicy trail behind it, Draco sees Hermione's normally ugly (pretty) face curl into a snarl"You really are a piece of work you know that Malfoy."

Draco frowns. "I was just trying to be empathetic. I mean, no ones ever offered me a raw steak before." He pauses, working up his courage. "I-if you want we could go back to my place and cook it I guess."

Hermione gapes at him, mouth opening and closing.

Draco blinks. "What?"

Hermione laughs and Draco swallows, hard. "It's for your eye genius, I can cook my food just fine here thanks."

Draco grimaces, holding up the steak between two fingers and watching it drip faintly pink liquid onto his new jeans. "Why in heavens name would I want to put raw meat on my eye? That's a tad bit unsanitary you know."

Hermione shakes her head. "The _rich_, guh."

Draco snorts. "The _poor_, guh."

Hermione laughs again and Draco turns away and slaps to steak on his face, if only to hide his one previously uncovered cheek so she wont see him blushing.

He must look stupid with the thing on his face because her laughing only gets louder. Draco reddens, balling his hands into fists as he struggles to think of something sharp to say.

God, if only her laugh wasn't so _nice._

"You know Draco, you aren't half bad."

Draco's head snaps up. "Wha-"

Hermione is smiling at him and something inside of Draco goes all wonky.

The parasite in his brain must be acting up because it's clearly trying to kill him via heart palpitations (because his heart just doesn't _do_ fluttering) and stomach agitation (because Malfoy's do not get something so _uncool _as butterflies in their tummies). Draco opens his mouth to inform Hermione that he might be in need of immediate medical assistance when his face and vocal chords give an odd spasm. The affect is his lips quirking upwards in something that could be described as a smile (more like an emphatic smirk) and a _giggle_ (you could call it an artfully light chuckle).

_Good god! _Malfoy laments to himself. _It's a hostile takeover!_

Yes. That must be it. He must be dying of some sort of horrendous brain parasite because he can't really be doing any of this of his own free will.

* * *

Summer is heaven, school is the devil and having to take summer school P.E. classes should be called intolerably cruel by law.

Anyway, enjoy.

-Schyzotypal X


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